STEP UP 1: STEP UP

Okay, this movie was pretty great on its own merits, even though it's probably best known for being the prequel to Step Up 2 The Streets. Ugh, who would put so much effort into making a prequel that they would actually go back in time to film it? Hollywood is so excessive. Anyway, I slept through the second half of this movie, but what I remember of it was pretty good, even though I can't remember the names of either of the main actors.



The plot is set in motion when Channer Tatesalot and his inocuous band of faux-thugs break into the local school for the arts (there's one in every town) and get a little rambunctious in the auditorium. They tear up some fake Greek columns and some plaster busts -- you know, normal theater stuff. It's basically like this:



but with things that don't matter. But then they get caught and everyone hightails it, leaving Chan-o to bear the punishment: community service! Gross!

But he soon learns a valuable lesson: Dancing is nothing to scoff at! It's the same in every language! LOVE IS PAIN LIKE DANCING IS PAIN. Let's rate this bitch!

Criteria:

• 10 points for class warfare. Who knew janitors could have feelings just like the rest of us?
• 10 more points for pursuing a gross, toothy love interest who can only be won through the power of dance
  
• 10 even more points for an inspirational mentor who SPOILER ALERT GETS SHOT AND DIES
  

• 10 points for Tater McChance leaving his fancy dance partner when, in a totally forgettable development, her original dance partner recovers from his sprained ankle
• 10 points for the above mid-movie setback (a SYAN, B first!)
• 10 points for several traning montages: See, first she had to teach him to be classy, and then he has to teach her to be STREET

• 10 points for a message of teamwork and compromise that I totally slept through

Bonus Points:

• Are you serious? No krumping in a movie about a dude who's totally STREET? 0 points for NO KRUMPING!
• 1 points for a billion skill brawls
• 1 point for a boyfriend who's really not that big of an asshole. I mean, it's not like he sings Chumbawamba or anything.
• 1 point for the unsupportive parents of The Girl In The Movie, but can you blame them? Would you really want your daughter hanging out with a janitor?
• 1 point for Chandler Tatesworth getting an opportunity to become a student at the VERY SAME SCHOOL he had to callously vandalized just weeks before
• And finally the love interest:

Uck. 3 points, and that's just because she's a girl. Can you imagine her face on a dude? It's not that hard. Here, let me help:



Much better. That is a solid 8.

FINAL SCORE: 77