FIRED UP FOR REAL

I'm sorry but we're still going to have a hard time talking about this movie without just sort of keyboard smashing all over the place. BEST MOVIE OF 2009 hands down. Oscar season, Shmoscar shmeason. Fired Up was Bring It On meets Judd Apatow, with even more jokes about getting laid. And oh my God the asshole boyfriend oh my GOD. brb gathering my wits to make this coherent. No, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I just want to say every single person needs to see this. Twice. Three times even. Oh my God. It may have only earned 88 points, but it earned a million points in our hearts. THERE WAS A WHOLE SCENE WITH A CROWD OF CHEERLEADERS WATCHING AND QUOTING BRING IT ON. SO META.

Criteria:

• No points for everyone in the movie being white and rich
• 10 points for pursuing a bunch of super hot love interests
• 10 points for striving to a) not be in last place and b) get some pussy
  
• 10 points for a mid-movie setback complete with a SPOILER ALERT talking fat belly
  
• 10 points for TWO training montages
  
• 10 points for killing two birds with one stone by SPOILER ALERT getting kicked off the team because they were planning on leaving
  
• 10 points for so much sexy teamwork
  
• 10 points for having a national competition
  

Bonus points:

• 1 point for a skill brawl of sorts
• 1 point for the most awesome asshole boyfriend EVER
• 1 point for a lack of parent presence, which we're going to assume means they are unsupportive, but also we just want to give Fired Up all the points in the world
• 1 point for us remembering that there was a celebrity cameo, but we can't remember who it was. But we just found out that Masi Oka (YATA!) was in the eagle costume, so we're going to count it.
• 9 points for all of the love interests being SUPER HOT YOU GUYS
• 5 points for a funny credit sequence
  

Final Score: 88

DRUMLINE

Despite its "low" score, Drumline is clearly the second greatest teen competition movie of all time that either of us have ever seen. So there. Scientific method: MYTH BUSTED. YOU BETTER DRUMLINE.

SCORE CARD
CRITERIA:

• A great big ZERO POINTS for racial or class tension. Everyone in this movie is basically on equal ground, and if they don't start out that way they earn the respect of their bandmates by doing one-armed push-ups or making jokes about the school having too many black people.
  
• 10 points for pursuing a love interest
• 10 points for a very serious, Earth, Wind, and Fire-loving Orlando Jones as the mentor who teaches him there's more to drumline than just drumming in a line. WAIT.
• AN EXTRA 5 POINTS for an INVISIBLE MENTOR in the form of his deadbeat father, who threw away his own music career to follow his dream of selling tickets at the bus station.
  
• 10 points for a mid-movie setback that involves our main character being a great big drum clown
  
• 10 points for a training montage that managed to be different by just showing Mr. Mariah Carey learning how to read music instead of involving the entire band.
  
• 10 points for getting kicked off the team
• 10 points for a message of teamwork AND compromise
• 10 points for SPOILER ALERT winning nationals

BONUS POINTS:

• 1 point for a skill brawl between READ and CAN'T READ

• 1 point for a scholarship on the line
• 1 point for ending with a tiebreaker
• 1 point for giving us goosebumps
• 8 points for Zoe Saldana being super flyyyy

FINAL SCORE: 88