Payserface can't concentrate without Coach Stern But Fair's three gold medal guidance. Houston knows The Rock is sans coach and is trying to recruit the dull but talented Payton. Kaylie's hot brother has shown up, making all the girls swoon while he throws around the kind of erudite nautical phrases hot boys learn in college, like "How's the slave ship treating you?" and talking about "jumping ship."
Stop yammering about your scholarship problems so I can grab your boobs. Meanwhile, Queen Bitch Lauren is doing her thing in Denver (Denver?) and is, I guess, better than before but she looks pretty much the same to me. I haven't been invited to judge for the Olympics yet, though, so what do I know? She walks in on her dad macking on DJ Tanner and loses her shit over it.
How rude! On the other side of town, Emo Boy is getting all up in Emily's grill about what she does in her non-work time when Tila Tequila Mom shows up and is all BOARD MEETING BOARD MEETING yadda yadda yadda, but the kids skip out and go to Denver to confront Queen Bitch and Coach Stern But Fair.
Damn, Queen Bitch's bars look good. Payserface goes all REALLY ARE YOU KIDDING on Coach Stern But Fair. He pulls the rug out from under her (all of us) and does his best Michael Corleone "It's just business" impression. Take it to the mattresses! But it's trickery! He's just trying to motivate Payserface. What a man.
While the whole episode leading up to this part was solid enough, let's not kid ourselves you guys. It was all just filler for that sweet kung fu fighting scene. Pretty princesses versus thugs - who will come out on top??
That was some superhero action, yo!
Hot mom gets lost getting ice cream (so typical) and catches Coach Stern But Fair and Kaylie's mom, the former pop-star, sucking face on his front step. Zip up my heart, wash your hands and walk away! BUSTED! Case closed!
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